no_more_cookies - A Day in the Life of a Dog and a Cat

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20 February 2008 @ 06:34 pm

A Day in the Life of a Dog and a Cat

Look behind the cut for very funny diary entries by a dog and a cat. I read it several times a day and laugh. Those are totally my dogs.

DOG DIARY:

  8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

  9:30 am- A car ride! My favorite thing!

  9:40 am- A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

  10:30 am- Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

  12:00 pm- Lunch! My favorite thing!

  1:00 pm- Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

  3:00 pm- Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

  5:00 pm- Milk bones! My favorite thing!

  7:00 pm- Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

  8:00 pm- Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

  11:00 pm- Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



  CAT DIARY:

  Day 983 of my captivity.

  My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
  fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for
  the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
  order to keep up my strength.

  The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
  feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
  clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
  condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

  Bastards!

  There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
  placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
  that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn
  what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

  Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
  tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
  this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

  I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
  seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

  The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with
  the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
  captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
  so he is safe.

  For now...

Current Location: Kitchen

Current Mood:

hungry

Current Music: NPR--Justice Talking

7 comments | Leave a comment

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sommossa on February 21st, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)

This is sooooooooooooooooo funny!

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mcookies on February 21st, 2008 04:13 am (UTC)

Don't you love it? I look at my dogs and think how great it would be if everything I did were my favorite thing to do. I must add, "Strive to be more like the dogs" to my list of people I should strive to be more like. Particularly Lola. She is the happiest kid ever. Little Pixie get nervous sometimes and has some attachment issues. She had a rough time in the beginning. But now she is ours (and has been for a long time but those early developmental attachment issues shape a person, or a dog, quite a bit) and sleeping in her little bed in the kitchen while I work and Lola sleeps in the bigger bed next to her.

Good dogs.

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mcookies on February 21st, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)

Plus I think the cat wears a beret and sips espresso in a cafe in Paris when she is not in captivity. Viva la revolucion!

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(Anonymous) on February 21st, 2008 04:52 am (UTC)

Yeah-- the kitty is very conspiracy-minded. I love the kitty.

I miss Lola! And Pixie! I live with Lola's mom... I totally just remembered that. Lola's mom is very sweet and funny too. But closer in size to Pixie. Lola's mom, Abbie, has a side-kick now named Coco, who is a very energetic young beagle. Abbie tolerates her.

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mcookies on February 22nd, 2008 02:02 am (UTC)

I totally forgot that you live with Lola's mom! That is so exciting. She is a good girl. It is so funny that someone so small made such big puppies. Not that they were that big when they were first born, but Lola is a giant compared to her mom. Tell Abbie hi. Little beagle. Fun.

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stormkpr on February 27th, 2008 12:16 pm (UTC)
Belated Happy Birthday!

I'm sorry that I'm a day late, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday! Did you do anything fun?

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mcookies on February 27th, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Belated Happy Birthday!

Thanks for the birthday wishes! It was a good day. We left campus early and went to dinner and got frozen yogurt. Unfortunately I had to go home and grade papers but it was very nice to take a little break in the middle of the day.

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